Ah, creation! That glorious time when the BigBangBoss (the Creator), brimming with infinite sauces and complicated taste, threw together the universe like a cosmic rojak. But let's be honest, folks, did anyone really understand the true experiences of this whole existence thing? Because for a supposedly all-powerful being, the Creator sure made some design choices that leave you scratching your celestial head.
Take envy, for instance. Why, oh why, did the Creator topping this slimy goo into the human recipe? Was it to spice things up? Because let me tell you, watching your neighbour win the celestial choir lottery while you're stuck with sweaty duty is enough to make anyone plot a cosmic tantrum of the passive-aggressive variety.
And then there's hatred. Did the Creator, in their infinite benevolence, demonstrate a malapropism that mixed up “chill” and “chilli” while finalising?
Speaking of questionable creations, let's not forget witches! Now, I'm not saying all witches are bad. Some just like a good cauldron brew and a chat with a friendly raven. But apparently, the Creator forgot to mention the whole "witch hunt" memo to the rest of humanity. Because let's face it, getting toasted at the stake for brewing Bak Kut Teh is a tad bit harsh, even for a Monday morning.
But wait, there's more! Apparently, the Creator decided the universe needed a designated villain. Enter the muslin bags, the loyal but cheap strainers ready to be disposed of at convenience. Did the Creator create the muslin bag just to have someone to blame for polluting the taste of tea? Or simply because the bag is filled with cinnamon but labelled as chrysanthemum?
Look, I'm not saying the Creator is bad. At least we are given sunsets and puppies, for pampering! But while your creation manual includes instructions for building galaxies, jaw-droppingly forgetting to mention how to avoid boycotting rally and political gridlock, you gotta wonder if the divine kitchen was a little sleep-deprived during that particular project week.
Maybe the Creator instructed the master chef to simply chunk in a little extra content as the background, to stage the starring - Love, to jack up the pace of heart poundings. Is it a saving grace or just another messy ingredient which is diluted within the cosmic rojak?
Just try not to hold your breath waiting for the original comprehensive user manual that is complete with the safety guide. Perhaps, you may need to scratch your head over those outdated third-party translations, or just write a fresh, unique one for yourself.
So, the next time you're wrestling with envy, dodging a stray bolt of hatred lightning, or wondering why your neighbour seems suspiciously chummy with a raven, just remember: it's all part of the grand, slightly chaotic, divine plan. There might not be a user manual, but that's the beauty of it. We get to write our own stories, find our own purpose, and make sense of this crazy, messy thing called existence. After all, no matter which piece you grab first, a plate of cosmic rojak is delicious and surprising.